I downloaded the Voxer app eight years ago, on our trek from Missouri to Washington to start our lives over. My friend from Missouri suggested it as a way to stay connected while living so far apart.
I was dubious at first. Record myself talking and let people listen to it? That did not sound like a good plan. I let several messages from my influential friend go by unanswered because the whole thing seemed so weird. But eventually I got brave and sent a message back. Before long, I was hooked.
I have never been an avid phone conversationalist, so this little switch-up of communication methods changed my life. I could duck into a quiet corner for a minute to send a message instead of making that phone call that would alert every person in the house that I was occupied and a prime target for all the urgent needs of the day. I could quit worrying about bothering my friends with a ringing phone when they were busy putting their baby to bed or entertaining guests or mowing the lawn. They could wait to listen to my message until it was convenient for them, and answer me when they felt like it. Communicating with my faraway friends became a much more doable thing.
It amazed me how quickly my inhibitions vanished about sending a recording of my voice into cyberspace. The girl who would have clapped her hands to her ears and galloped from the room upon hearing her own voice replayed in any way was now sending two-minute-long messages to her friends about everything from her projects of the day to her current feelings on parenting.
Of course I graduated to WhatsApp a long time ago, which has the redeeming feature of the option to delete a message. This is important for me, even though I have friends who protest when I make use of it. They just have to deal with it now and then, when my tongue gets tangled up or I stutter around saying nothing for a minute and a half.
In spite of the great strides I have made surrounding voice messaging in the last eight years, I still have my points of unease. I agree with you that they don’t make a lot of sense, but I wonder if any of my fellow creatures have similar boundaries.
1)I can send you a voice message and then listen to it myself to make sure I got my point across. (It took me years to get to this place, so please take a moment to celebrate with me.) I don’t mind knowing that you are listening to my message. I can listen to it and you can listen to it, but we will not be listening to it together. Nope. It can only be done separately.
2)I can send you a message and feel comfortable with you listening to it, and also send one to another friend and feel fine about her listening to hers. But I will get squirmy if I know that you are listening to hers or she is listening to yours. Please just stick to what is yours.
3)I can hardly bear to send a message in the hearing of another person. I will escape to another room to speak into my phone if at all possible.
4)I have my limits about sending voice messages to groups. I will send the same voice message to twenty different people without flinching, but if I need to message those twenty people collectively in a WhatsApp group, you will find me typing out my speech, thank you very much.
Can any of this be explained, and do you also have personal voice messaging rules?
And who would’ve thought, ten years ago, that it would be a foreign idea to call your friend to ask her for a recipe instead of shooting her a voice message?
Can't explain any of it, but it all makes perfect sense to me! 😄
Great post! My rules echo yours. 👌Here I thought I was the only one who has to hide in solitude before recording a voice message. 😅
I feel pretty much the same about listening to one. I just don't know if what I'm about to hear was intended for the ears of everyone around me. 🤷
And groups. Totally agree. I'm cool with a group of four or so, but anymore than that... 🤐